I was minding my own business, walking home from work and I was accosted and physically assaulted. Unlike the time I was attacked in New York City, I was in Detroit, in my own neighborhood, a block from my front door. About a month after the attack I was almost hit by a car, twice. I felt the same feeling of anxiety from the attack that I felt when the car was so close I thought I was going to get hit. Walking to and from work should not be this difficult and stressful.

After these encounters I immediately began thinking about why something like this would happen to me. How did I seem weak and vulnerable to these teenagers that assaulted me? What about my appearance gave them the idea that they could accost me with impunity? Or did they even care how I looked? What is it about Detroit that makes me invisible when walking home from work? Why is this environment so hostile to people without cars?

I think there could be many reasons why this happened; some related to my personal circumstances, others influenced by a larger systemic reason for urban youth perpetrating crimes against individuals.
The immediate reason for all of these issues is my lack of resources, and my lack of resources is a direct result of my low income. I do not have a car, and may not have one for even longer than I had originally planned. If I were in a car none of these things would have happened.

Another reason I believe I was assaulted was because I was well dressed. I should be able to dress anyway I want, but the reality is that in the ‘hood I have to dress like the ‘hood. I have to wear my black hooded sweatshirt and my Timberland boots and baggy jeans, etcetera. My thick goatee also helps improve my appearance for safety. I have to remember to keep the cord to the earphones on my mp3 player in my coat or shirt or jacket so that they are not exposed. An iPod is a clear indication of my relative class privilege. An iPod sends the message that I not only have the $200 plus dollars to purchase it, but also that I have a computer to download songs from the Internet. It all points to a level of wealth the robbers do not have access to.

The other part of the reality is that I live in a neighborhood that is being rapidly gentrified. The people coming into this area are usually associated with Wayne State University in some capacity, either as a student, a professor or in a related industry. Those moving here are increasingly affluent and not all of them are white. To the youth that attacked me, I probably looked like a part of the gentry that is moving in.

The larger economic conditions in this state, of course, have helped create the conditions that resulted in my assault. The restructuring of the Detroit auto companies is resulting in large workforce reductions. These massive lay-offs are causing an economic depression. The conditions of this depression are only worsening by the day.

Detroit as a whole is becoming economically unsustainable from the push-down effect. The economy in Southeast Michigan is dominated by the U.S. auto industry. When the auto industry reduces its workforce, the workers that do not move to other states are absorbed into lower paying and sometimes less skilled jobs. Then the lower paying and even less skilled get pushed into the next lower job sector. Finally, those with minimal to no special skills get completely displaced.

These people often work more than one job and still their “ends do not meet,” or worse yet, they sooth their depression over their economic situation with addictive substances. Meanwhile, their children are constantly receiving pop culture messages that greed, consumption and aggression are valuable personality traits that will be rewarded with access to money, power, and sex. As the bad economic conditions deepen and the dominant culture becomes more materialist, I should expect more frequent and bolder robbery or harassment attempts by poor disenfranchised youth and adults.

My first gut reaction after being attacked was that one of those youth needed to get shot. Then they’ll learn a lesson. Not necessarily killed, but definitely shot. They’ll think twice before they attack someone else on the street. I thought, should I take a martial arts class to “be ready” for them next time? Should I get a Concealed Weapons Permit?

Almost immediately, I realized that this thinking was irrational, that it would perpetuate more violence and would not help to make this a safer neighborhood. But I am left with the uncertainty of how do I take care of my spirit and sense of safety after this violation?

It has been over a month since this incident occurred. I now take a different route walking home from work. The route I took when I was accosted was to avoid the sex workers, drug dealers and addicts that hang out a few blocks from my door. Now I walk in the direction of this illicit activity. Ironically, this may turn out to be the “safer” route because of the higher street traffic it creates. Most robbers do not want to bother you in an area where there is a lot of traffic, of any kind. My walking this new direction is counter-intuitive for me, because my experience being around sex workers, drug dealers and addicts is that it is a sure way to be an “innocent bystander” victim often read about in the newspapers and heard of on the television news. I’ve known several people to get killed because of being caught in the crossfire.

Maybe walking the way of the sex workers, drug dealers and addicts is the safer route from roving groups of menacing teenagers, but not the safer route from potential shootings and firebombs. There was actually a fire-bombing of an apartment building on this walk home from work during the summer months of 2006.

I have also considered that my recently reacquired ‘hood style of dress doesn’t distinguish me from the “usual suspects.” Now, the police are more of a concern. They often do random “sweeps” in the area that I walk. I am hoping that my backpack will distinguish me as a possible student, given that I am within four blocks of the Wayne State University campus. Hopefully the police will not mistake me for one of the other “usual suspects.”

I still do not know the answers, but I know when I walk home from work now I have several layers of anxiety. First, from menacing teenagers, second from sex workers, drug dealers and drug addicts, and third from the police.

This personal attack has upset my sense of personal safety. I understand even better the reasons why a person does not “risk” living in the city—especially an area like where I live.

The interesting thing for me, as a person of color, a Black man of multi-ethnic heritage and a somewhat class-privileged background, is I did not think I would be targeted for attack in the area that I live. I figured my skin color and ability to navigate various social circles would “protect” me.

Some might say that I should leave the city, but I have found that living in the suburbs does not necessarily offer me any greater sense of “safety.” I lived in the suburbs for the better part of my adult life and experienced harassment from both the police and white teenagers. It only takes one experience to upset the balance and cause anxiety. One late night at a 24-hour megastore, several young white men attempted to intimidate me with verbal assaults. I should be allowed to shop late at night without being menaced. I also feel like I should be able to drive in my neighborhood without the police stopping me on a tri-monthly basis, informing me that I “fit the description”.

Before these experiences I never really understood self-segregation by people of color and communities of color. I see why people of color, especially immigrants of color, gather together and in many instances live their entire lives within a familiar space of five miles of their homes. There is a sense of safety, even when the neighborhood is “crime-ridden.” These people still feel safe because they think they at least they know who is doing the crime, and feel less worried about the police harassing them.

From these personal attacks I have learned why people feel a gun makes them feel safer. I understand why people might think the suburbs are safer--and why people feel that the suburbs (or any community where they are not the majority) are unsafe.

I understand even more now why low-income people have higher instances of poor health, hypertension and heart attacks. Low-income life is stressful because you exist in almost constant danger. I have lived in a variety of neighborhoods and traveled extensively; I’ve lived well with a large income and lived struggling with a lower income. It seems to me that regardless of where I live, how I dress, my mode of travel to and from work, where and what time I shop, at the end of the day its up to me to confront and face all situations, to build community despite the odds, and to do what it takes to be safe.